Enough

If you read my last post called forgiveness you probably already know where this is going. As anticipated my wife and I are in the process of divorcing. I wish it wasn’t so but, it is. We went to marriage counseling but somehow we couldn’t seem to find common ground on which to rebuild. Sometimes no matter what you do it just isn’t enough for the other person. They need something from you and nothing else you do can take its place. I’m not just saying that about my wife. I include myself in that statement. There was just nothing she could do to undo the pain and damage she did to our relationship . What I needed was for it to have never happened and she couldn’t provide that. It couldn’t be undone. Someone once said that relationships are like a broken glass sometimes it’s better to leave it broken than it is to cut yourself up on the pieces trying to fix it. I suppose that’s true though painful to accept. I am coming to a place of forgiveness and someday will be able to look back on all of this and not feel any hurt. But, there is no going back for our relationship. The glass has been broken. It has been dealt a fatal blow from which there is no recovery. 

I wish I could be like the father in the parable of the prodigal son. Just receive her back with no thought for all the things that transpired.  But, I’m not superhuman. I haven’t been gifted with that kind of selfless virtue. Read the parable with me.

Luke 15:11 Then Jesus said, “A man had two sons. 12 The younger of them said to his father, ‘Father, give me the share of the estate that will belong to me.’ So he divided his assets between them. 13 After a few days, the younger son gathered together all he had and left on a journey to a distant country, and there he squandered his wealth with a wild lifestyle. 14 Then after he had spent everything, a severe famine took place in that country, and he began to be in need. 15 So he went and worked for one of the citizens of that country, who sent him to his fields to feed pigs. 16 He was longing to eat the carob pods the pigs were eating, but no one gave him anything. 17 But when he came to his senses he said, ‘How many of my father’s hired workers have food enough to spare, but here I am dying from hunger! 18 I will get up and go to my father and say to him, “Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. 19 I am no longer worthy to be called your son; treat me like one of your hired workers.”’ 20 So he got up and went to his father. But while he was still a long way from home his father saw him, and his heart went out to him; he ran and hugged his son and kissed him. 21 Then his son said to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you; I am no longer worthy to be called your son.’ 22 But the father said to his slaves, ‘Hurry! Bring the best robe, and put it on him! Put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet! 23 Bring the fattened calf and kill it! Let us eat and celebrate, 24 because this son of mine was dead, and is alive again—he was lost and is found!’ So they began to celebrate.

Here is something I take away from this parable. While the son was in the far off land there was nothing he could do to please his father. He sinned against his father and squandered his inheritance but, it might have ended differently. He might have actually prospered. He might have been a successful business man and built a large estate for himself. He might have entered politics and became a powerful ruler. He might have married into a wealthy and powerful family and become the father of many rich and powerful sons. But, none of this would have pleased his father because his father only wanted one thing, him, regardless of his circumstances. Sometimes what a person most desires is simply you and anything else you offer them isn’t enough.